A man electing to make his own Mother’s Day card this year clearly thinks little of the woman that gave him life.
Local man Gary Jenkins cleverly conceals his lack of love for his mother through explicit expressions of hatred towards Hallmark.
“Those Hallmark prices are absolutely criminal – I’m paying 10 dollars for something I can print with my Epson XP-200,” Jenkins said on Mother’s Day evening as he opened up a new Microsoft Word file on his laptop computer.
Jenkins says a personalized piece of artwork from the heart is more valuable than a 15-dollar pop-up card being flogged at some news agency.
“Not really,” says mother Jenkins.
“Gary’s Photoshop work is atrocious – I’d go with Hallmark any day of the week.”
Mother Jenkins says “she just knew” her son didn’t love her anymore after seeing the level of pixilation on this year’s card.
“My granddaughters head only consisted of around 6 pixels – not really enough to bring out that beautiful smile,” said Gary’s mother.
Gary’s brother will be bringing their mother flowers today, for which Gary will be “paying halves” at a later unset date.