The speechwriter for the prime minister has judiciously saved the national apology speech to victims of institutional child sex abuse in Microsoft Word as future reference for an apology to victims on Nauru expected in the coming decades.

“We can probably just change a few words here or there for the children on Nauru,” said speechwriter Neville Beechworth.

“I better make backups on USB sticks because it may take a couple of decades.”

Technology experts say USB sticks may be obsolete by the time the government issues an official apology for children suffering on Nauru.

“They should really make backups on the cloud so they don’t have to go through the pain of writing another very similar speech from scratch,” says Parliament House I.T. guy Max Horring.