Thousands of angels who are following up on Isreal Folau’s thoughts and prayers will get their lives back, after God shut down his relentless campaign.
The former Wallaby star had barraged heaven with thoughts and prayers from Friday and raised more than $750,000 within four days.
But God said on Monday it was rejecting the campaign and will be issuing full refunds to the more than 7,000 donors.
“After a routine period of evaluation, we have concluded that this thoughts and prayers campaign violates our terms of service of no hate speech, and also not being a flog,” God said.
“I am absolutely committed to the fight for equality for LGBTIQ+ people and fostering an environment of inclusivity.”
God says He has been cited as saying a few nasty things about homosexuals back in the day, but He was “only joking”.
“Who actually takes those things I said seriously anyway? I mean, c’mon – you’re not supposed to take the Bible literally.”
“A lot of them were misquotes and taken out of context”
God says Folau is now practicing hate speech.
“He’s actually saying these things with a straight face”
“When I did it back in the BC days it was cool because basically the world was engulfed in 24/7 tribal warfare – now people live in a civil society.”