David Warner is emerging as the key character in the Australian ball-tampering saga and the deposed vice-captain has been suspended from playing the final test match in Johannesburg.

The ballgate scandal has rocked the foundations of Australia, the worst incident in its history since underarmballgate, which was even worse than the illegal invasion of Iraq costing over 100,000 civilian collateral damage cases.

“I never thought at 31 I’d have to ring Woolies to ask for my job back,” Warner has told reporters.

“The thing that stands out for me is the blacks in my career, it really shows and distinguishes those darks moments very very well.”

David Warner will now be able to watch cartoons with his kids through the winter and spend more quality time with his OLED.